Just one of the Boys

I did go duck hunting Saturday with "the boys" and I'm still here to talk about it, so it must have been alright.

It was C O L D and the wind was blowing directly into our blind all morning long. My face is chapped and it hurts. I got basically NO sleep Friday night knowing full well that I had to get up at the butt crack of dawn or be hackled all day long for sleeping in. In the afternoon the hubby and I each took naps, he on the sofa me in the recliner, while Baby Girl had the run of the house. She changed the channel a few times until she found SpongeBob and then Franklin, got a piece of string cheese for herself and got herself some juice in a cup. No stains on the carpet - amazing!

I only shot my gun one time and missed so terribly that I pretty much sat back and watched the masters the rest of the time. I was ready to leave almost immediately after we got there, but I stuck it out. We ended up with 4 ducks and I got to personally experience how well trained our dog is at retrieving dead animals.

I would like to go again, if the weather cooperates with me. I'm not big into the whole bundle up like an Eskimo thing. I was never happier than I was when I peeled my neoprene chest waders off and was able to remember what it felt like to breathe unconstrained.

Mom and Dad aren't leaving for AZ until tomorrow morning now. Too many glitches came up last minute pushing their time table back a couple days. I don't see what the big deal is - it's not like they have a deadline to get there. Their trailer will still be there no matter when they arrive.

Baby Girl and I are trying to figure out when we'll be able to make the trip there for some R&R this year. My husband is going to Arkansas for a hunting trip at the end of the year and it would make sense if we could all be gone at the same time, but we've got school to work around. I still don't want to just yank her out of school - it's the principal of it. I've said before, if I give her the impression that it's ok to miss school to see Papa and Nanny in Arizona at any given time while she's in Kindergarten I'm certainly not setting a very good example of the importance of school. I don't know - we can't really afford to go until we get our income tax refund anyway so looks like I'm fussing about nothing right now.

Updates: car, salary, weekend

Well my husband can finally stop asking me if the lady ever called me back about my car. She called around 6 last night. My daughter answered the phone. I couldn't hear what was coming from the other end but my daughter handed the phone off to me saying she thought it was a telemarketer. She's 5 remember.

So, the lady is paying cash for the damages to my car. She said to go ahead and have it fixed per the estimate and have the body shop send her a bill. I told her I didn't know what the terms of payment were at the body shop, never used one before really, and that I'd have to contact them and have them get in touch with her. So, I asked for the best way for them to contact her and she rattles off cell phone numbers for her and her husband. I ask what her husband's name is so I have it on my note and her response - "Mark, Dr. Mark K----, the orthopedic surgeon".

Well! Aren't we a name / profession dropper?!? Like my husband said - if she's like 99% of doctors wives she's so doped up or drunk that she's probably had so many of these "little" accidents that her insurance would go sky high. Hell, I don't care what she did before the accident with my car - I just want my car fixed without costing me a dime.

No raise yet. Big shocker. Last night as I lay in bed not sleeping, again, I thought about my comment about it being easier to get an organ off him than a pay raise. The man drinks like a fish and smokes like a chimney. He hasn't got an organ on him that isn't pickled or covered in tar. I think I did make some headway though on the raise front. He told me he was going to talk to his partner (the other lawyer in the office) this morning. When he talked to his secretary and found out he was at a seminar today he was honked. Good.

That's how bad things can be here. There are 4 of us in the office and 3/4 of the time we don't know what any of the others are doing. Stupid if you ask me. But hey, I just work here. After all, I've only been here 2 1/2 years and still don't have a key. I'm the only one without one. Doesn't bother me - that way the boss man can't expect me to "stop in" the office on the weekend to get caught up on things.

I'm going duck hunting tomorrow morning with my husband and two of his buddies. Can't wait to roll my ass out of bed at 4am, get dressed up like I'm heading to the Arctic circle and ride down the river in a rickety boat with three men and a dog. The part I'm dreading the most is the prospect of having to pee. Guys can just whip it out and go when ever / where ever - it's a little more difficult for those of us without hoses attached to our plumbing. I usually hold it so long that by the time we make it back to land I'm in the bathroom for what seems like an hour.

That's about it. It's starting to feel like winter here in Illinois. Mom and Dad are leaving Monday for Arizona and won't be home until mid-December for Christmas and then back out until the middle or end of April. Still trying to figure out how me and Baby Girl are going to get out there this year. I'm glad she's finally in school but it sure makes it difficult to make travel arrangements!

It would be easier to ask for a kidney

For several months I've been trying (unsuccessfully) to get an increase in my salary.

It's to the point now where I would have better luck if I asked for an organ. I work for a lawyer - you know, the profession that makes the most money after your doctor.

Basically, I want a 50% increase. I know - it won't happen. I've got my speech all planned out and everything. See, I've done this a few times and I know that you go in high so you can bargain yourself down to what you'll accept. Hard to start low and work up but easy to start high and work down. Besides, that way HE feels like he got me to concede to HIS terms instead of what actually went down.

So, I'll keep you posted. My husband wishes we had money stock piled so I could walk out and tell him I'd be back when he decided to pay me well, knowing full well it wouldn't be a day and I'd be back at MY price.

Yeah, I'm that good. Need a paralegal?

Weekend Update

Thankfully, it appears the earth has spun in a different direction and is casting it's spell on some other unfortunate sucker - giving me a break. I wonder, was there a full moon during the last two weeks? If there were, some things would make a lot more sense.

All day Friday our client, Major Pain, was in town under the presumption that his personal appearance would get things in his divorce case moving faster. He was in and out all day and was in a pretty sour mood. By the end of the day he got fired as our client. My boss doesn't take clients who aren't lawyers thinking or acting like they are very well. He won't be missed by me. If I enjoyed him as a client I certainly wouldn't refer to him as "Major Pain", right?

My weekend was relatively good. Friday night the hubby was at a "guys only" pre-hunting season get together so Baby Girl and I took our time doing our weekly shopping gig. We went out for supper first and then on to Wally World. It wasn't bad.
Saturday I made another trip (the 5th in a week) over East to pick my wedding ring up from the jewelers. They'd had it since Sunday in order to tighten the center stone for the bijillionth time in the past 8 years. Pretty disgusting when I sit and think about it. In the first year that we were married the jeweler had my wedding ring more than I did. Total nightmare, don't even want to get into it because it would take too much time that I don't have.

Saturday afternoon the hubby promised to take me out hunting at his "club" he bought into this year. I think it would have done me good - I was feeling a little postal after the last two weeks and killing ducks is legal. I'd just have to mentally project a face onto each duck I tried to whack to get my angst out. Anyway, he talked to a couple of guys that had gone there for the day (he went somewhere else in the morning) and they hadn't had much luck. So, he thought it would be a "waste of time, energy and gas" to take me. Thanks, thanks a lot.

Saturday night we were at my parents house for dinner. We had Thanksgiving. Yep! Turkey and all the trimmings. It was odd, I'll admit that much, but my parents are leaving for Arizona for the winter on the 30th of October and won't be back until just before Christmas. Even then they're only going to be here for something like 8 days.

Sunday was my veg day. The Oscar Meyer Weinermobile made a stop at the local grocery store so I took Baby Girl out to see that. Pretty cool. It was fricking cold out though with pretty strong wind so we were only there long enough to get a weiner whistle and a couple of pictures and off we went.

That's it. This week should be better. Bossman is in trial today and tomorrow and we have a lot of other things going on this week too that will keep him out of the office so I can catch up.

Yep, it's turned out to be one of THOSE weeks

It's Wednesday, I know, but I feel like I'm having the week from hell. Not unlike the days Bill Murray has as his character in the movie Groundhog Day.

Every day this week when my alarm has gone off I think to myself "Can it really be 6:00 a.m. already?" And, you guessed it, it always is.

Yesterday my car had an appointment at the Nissan dealership about 20 miles away. The dealership where we bought our car has been promising us a second key since the day we signed papers - nearly 3 months ago.

I was supposed to have a road trip to deliver some deadlined documents to the office of opposing counsel Tuesday. Their office happens to be about 2 blocks away from the dealership my car had to be at. So, I told the dealership I could take care of it myself since I was going to be just down the road.

My day didn't go as planned and at lunch it appeared I wouldn't be making my road trip. So, I called my dealership back and told them they'd have to go back to the original plan and have one of their guys take the car over. No problem. Appointment was at 2:00 p.m. - we'll have your car back to you at work no later than 3:30 p.m.

Wouldn't you know it. At 2:00 p.m. I discovered that my planned then unplanned road trip was back on. Great. Now my car is already over there and as soon as it gets back I get to take it there again. Gee, sure glad gas isn't expensive.

So, it's nearing 4:00 p.m. and I have no car. I call my dealership and tell them I'm terribly sorry to be such a pain in the ass, but I need my car back so I can make my trip after all. Silence.

This is what I hear coming from the mouth on the other end:

"Um. I wanted to talk to Bud before I called you, but I haven't had the chance. You're car was in an accident while our guy had it over East to get the key made. Everybody is ok, Jason's a little shook up because he knows you and your husband. The car is totally drivable. The other lady had insurance, I've got the police report. Jason had to sit with the car for an hour and a half with the Police Department. Jason was rear-ended at the stop light."

WHAT!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!!?

I have to laugh. If I don't I'll cry. I've had this car for less than 3 months.

Later I settled down and was more rational. It was an accident. Nobody was hurt. My car is damaged but not totaled. The lady had insurance and it was her fault. (Come to find out, her husband is an orthopedic surgeon - cha ching)

But now my husband and I are at odds. Why? Because he wants the dealership to have to deal with the headache of getting our car to/from estimates, he wants them to give us a car to drive while our car is getting fixed.

I told him that their guy was driving OUR car. WE pay the insurance. WE need to be responsible for anything that happens now. This lady's insurance is going to deal with US as owners of the car, not Jason who was driving.

AGH! I feel my blood pressure elevating again. What a fricking nightmare.

When I got off the phone with the dealership yesterday I walked into the office of my boss and told him I needed to retain an attorney. I guess sometimes it does pay to have my job.

Dazed and Confused

Sorry I haven't been better about keeping up on this thing - it's been crazy around here for so long I've completely forgotten what "normal" is like.

Here's updates on stuff:

1. Baby Girl has had a major improvement with her acting out at school. We started sending a little notebook back and forth so the teacher can make either a smiling face or a frowning face. They also had one of the local DARE cops in for a 2 day lesson on bullies. Hey, it worked.

2. My strange dreams that involve Eric have continued. Last night was a weird one too. I'd say I'm averaging about one every 10-15 days. I'm sure my lack of productive sleep has a lot to do with it.

3. Last night I had my nails done (sigh, yeah - I'm one of those women) and hope I haven't contracted the strange nail fungus disease deal that Paula Abdul got a while back. My guy decided to take a chunk out of the side of one of my fingers, like a papercut that's really deep, with his nail file. Damn thing hurts!

4. Work continues to be very stressful. We've got a particular divorce case pending in which the wife (not our client) refuses to agree on anything just for the sake of arguing. I don't get it. When I got divorced I just wanted the asshole out of my life as quickly as possible. I had no desire to fight about toilet paper holders. Besides, half the people who do stuff like that are the one's who can't really afford to bitch about every living thing. Compounding all the fighting about bullshit is the fact that 90% of the people who do crap like this have kids they're putting in the middle of all this. If I EVER do or say anything to make anyone believe that pissing my husband off is more important than my daughter - somebody slap me or something. I just want to scream or shake these people and ask them why they have to be such bitches!!!!

Yeah, I know - I need a vacation. Too bad I won't likely get one until Spring. Not to mention the weather in Illinois has shifted to what I hate the most about living here - cold. Oh, did I mention that duck season starts this weekend? Thrilled. Duck widow for the 10th year. I am hunting this year though. I know, I know. I've said that each of the past 6 years now. This year I am - come hell or high water.

Try and convince me this isn't nit-picking

Late yesterday afternoon my husband calls and asks me what my opinion of baby girls punishment should be for her "acting out" at school today. Doesn't tell me what she did, so I assume it's the same bullshit of shoving, pushing and poking kids in the eyes. So, disgusted, I tell him to take away her TV priviledges - seems to work.

So then he tells me what she did that was SOOOO horribly wrong.

It was recess time and all the kindergarteners were outside. She was playing well with a small group of kids. One of the group, a little boy, was making faces and doing silly things. So, baby girl made a comment to him that he was acting like a weirdo. The little boy went and told the recess supervisor, who immediately went to baby girl and asked her if she had told the little boy he was acting like a weirdo. She said she had and explained to the supervisor that he was making silly faces and such.

COME ON PEOPLE!!!

Why are we reacting to a 5 year old telling another 5 year old that acting silly is just that - silly. She didn't call the kid a shit head, didn't tell him he was weird, and didn't use any of the other "choice" words that come out of her father's factory worker mouth on any given day. Geez, she could have dropped the f-bomb as much as it's a part of normal conversation in our house.

If telling a little boy being silly that he's acting like a weirdo is the worst thing she does we should be doing a happy dance instead of making a big ordeal out of it. Get with the program people, you've all been teaching for damn near forever - is this really worth writing home about?

I'm too tired for this

Well, I'm starting on at least the second week of sleepless nights. I don't know if it's stress, or if I'm just not getting quality sleep. Who knows, could be a combination of the two.

Sunday night I had a very strange dream. It was so real, and unlike usual, I woke up in the middle of it but fell right back to sleep and picked up where I left off.

My dream was about Eric, you know - the ex-boyfriend. Strange really. I haven't seen him in over a year and I did have an IM converstation with him a couple weeks ago for about 10 minutes but nothing really to write about.

I don't know. Maybe I never got over him. I have said in previous posts that he was always my "what if" guy. I'm sure I'll never know.

Little Jeckyl and Hyde

I have decided that my daughter is the 5 year old version of Dr. Jeckyl and Mr. Hyde.

Saturday we had the much anticipated wedding. She did wonderfully. I was so impressed and wondered how we managed to raise a child that was so genuine.

She walked down the aisle on cue, smiling all the way and dropping her flower petals. When looking through the church there wasn't a person there that didn't have a smile on their face.

She stood up at with the wedding party for the entire wedding, turning when the big girls turned, etc. It was impressive to say the least.

Then, after the actual marriage ceremony, when the bride and groom went and gave their parents hugs and kisses she began to cry. Why not, every other woman in the place had tears in their eyes. I told her, we're girls - we cry at weddings, it's what we do.

We had so many people, people we didn't know, who were concerned about her tears, asking if she was ok. She was, she's just emotional. I guess there isn't anything wrong with that. Like I said, we're girls, we cry at weddings if we want to or not.

At the reception she danced her little heart out. With the bride, with the bride's father, with the bride's mother, with the bridesmaids. It was truly a joy to watch. Little girls who mimic the bigger girls always make me smile. To have it be my little girl made the smile even bigger. I'm glad her first experience at a wedding was so positive.

So, why then is she such a monster when she's at school?!? I don't understand how she can be so sweet one day and pure evil the next. If I could get her to be like she was Saturday I wouldn't ever have to worry about her poking another kid in the eye (3 Stooges style) or shoving another kid on the play ground.

Maybe if I let her wear her "party dress" to school every day she'd act more like the little angel we had with us on Saturday.

Some days it just isn't worth it

I am so sick of this week. I'm thrilled it's Friday for reasons other than the obvious since this weekend is going to be crazy.

Baby Girl continues to have problems at school. I've talked to her teacher about it 3 times this week. She saw the school counselor and he didn't get anywhere with her either. Yesterday when I talked to the teacher she said she's going to give her one more warning and then she's going to be in the principals office. Why is it that my little girl, who has never ever acted like this before, is going to be spending time in the principals office less than 7 weeks into her school "career"?

I agree that she needs to keep her hands to herself and that she needs to use words when she's frustrated. Convincing a 5 1/2 year old of that is where our problem lies. She's lost priviledges now, and won't get them back until we know she's had a good day at school. She can't watch Disney channel. She can't watch Rachel Ray. She can't watch SpongeBob. From her daily reaction when these terms are reinforced you'd think I just stuck my hand through her chest and ripped her heart out. It hurts me too, but she HAS to learn.

My stress level at work has elevated so high that I have been unable to sleep nearly every night this week. I lay in bed staring at the ceiling thinking of all the things I have to do the next day. I've worked on deadline before without trouble. But this is insane. Every day I get emails from my boss to do stupid mundane things that he could do on his own. "Next time you're downstairs bring me a couple boxes of tissue" is the one that put me over the edge. He sent me that message and then 2 minutes later went downstairs. HELLO!?! Get your own damn tissues!

We've got a lot of date specific cases pending right now...messy messy divorces. I don't understand why people think it's necessary to fight over a fricking toilet paper holder. For God's sake people!!! Get a clue!!!

So, here I sit at work. My desk covered in files, loose papers, folders, paperclips. My credenza covered with files, loose papers and folders. My typewriter covered in filed, loose papers and folders. It's organized chaos, most of the time. And my boss had the nerve to make a comment this morning about my piles and about how they've grown. No shit Sherlock! Ever think that maybe YOU should be doing some of the work?????

How this thing grew legs

Well, my husband's dream (nightmare if you ask me) about me having an affair with a 45 year old slob has grown legs and he's running with it.

First off - I have not EVER ever once done anything even remotely sneaky during the course of our 10+ year relationship that would make anyone have reason to believe I was anything other than completely faithful to my husband. Ok, sure, I've talked to a couple ex-boyfriends but NOTHING has ever happened. I talked, they talked, and when I say we talked I mean that and nothing more. I should be the one who has suspicions of his fidelity when it comes right down to it.

So, anyway, husband brings up his dream again and about how real it was and that he still can't figure out if he was dreaming or really living this event out. I assured him it was a dream and nothing more, but somehow my denial made him more suspicious. You know the old saying, denial is the first step.

Whatever. I don't have (a) the time, (b) the energy, (c) the desire, or (d) the ability to carry on a meaningless relationship with anyone. My almost 6 year old daughter is attached to my hip 99.75% of the time. Somehow my husband fails to recognize that fact and has convinced himself that I have a boyfriend. I can't even go to the bathroom without the assistance of my daughter, how in the hell would I be able to have sex with some other guy?!?

HE is the one who picks up and goes whenever he wants and doesn't think twice about leaving a child around. HE has never once had to find a babysitter to watch her so he could go to Wal-Mart to buy groceries in peace. HE is the one who says he's running to a buddies house for 5 minutes and comes home 2 hours later. HE is the one who is away from his family every weekend. HE is the one who can't stand to spend a day at home with no projects. HE is the one who receives all the phone calls at our house.

Do you see a pattern here? Yeah, me too.

Time Flys

Well, never in a million years would I have thought that it would take me nearly a month to report on my Girls Night Out adventures, or any of the other less than exciting events in my life.

Girls Night Out was fun. We went to dinner at one of my all time favorite restaurants. We had drinks, appetizers, dinner, more drinks, and lots of conversation. I think we were at our table for nearly 3 hours. Then we hit one of the local to that area bars that had live entertainment, as it turns out he's the kid (21 year old) that a friend of ours hires each year to play guitar and sing at his cookout. He saw the 4 of us walk out onto the patio and made some snide remark about us following him or something. Who knows. Anyway, a good time was had by all (but maybe the one who is serious about going out without the husband and kids) and I was home in bed before midnight.

Work has been insane!! Last week I was so busy that there were days that the only time I left my desk was for lunch or to go home. Boss man had a full week of 1/2 day or all day hearings that required a lot of preparation on my part. That's the part that sucks - I do all the work and he gets all the glory - and money. Again, both local Judges have encouraged me to attend law school, one even went so far as to hand me a letter of recommendation he had already written about me, and again I told them both that I would be more than happy to go if they were willing to foot the bill. You know, it's funny how people's attitudes change when you suddenly use their money to do what they think you should do. One of the lawyers we regularly work with on a lot of cases flat out told me, in front of my boss and the Judge, that she preferred to deal with me rather than my boss because she got honest answers and we were able to take care of many problems without much trouble. Huge ego boost.

My daughter has been having a few problems in kindergarten. A week ago or so I spent no less than 1/2 hour on the phone with her teacher trying to figure out why she won't keep her hands to herself (she's hitting, pushing, etc.) and what we can do to get it to stop. I don't get this. I have no other children, the only thing she fights with for attention is the dog for attention by my husband. The teacher said she is one of the smartest kids she ever had and thinks that maybe she's bored and that's why she's acting out. I don't know. We did have open house last week and we were able to meet some of the other kids in her class and see their work. In my opinion, it wouldn't be hard for her to seem like a brain truss with the level of non-competition she has to work with. She has 22 kids in her class and I'd say there are no less than 8 that can't even write their names legiblily. Not hard to look smart when then rest of the group looks dumb. I know, bad to say, but true.

The big wedding is this weekend that she's the flower girl in. My husband is really getting on my nerves about the whole thing. I've had an appointment for her to get her hair done fancy for over a month, and I know I've told him about it at least once. Last night we were talking and he was asking if we have to pay for that or if I was just going to do her hair myself. HELLO?!? And he wonders why I do so many things without telling him. Why bother? If I tell him he swears I never did. Typical male that has selective hearing.

This morning he was telling me about a dream he woke up out of in a tiz in the middle of the night. He said it was so real he still can't decide if it was real or a dream. I assured him that in my opinion it was a nightmare, but that it was 100% fiction. He says I told him I was having an affair with a 45 year old slob and that in the dream I totally rationalized it. First off, if I was having an affair - which I'm not, I would certainly hope I could do better than that guy.

I did have a brief IM conversation with Eric, the old boyfriend that resurfaced a little over a year ago. Nice to talk to him, as always, but not often enough or long enough. We only had about 10 minutes to try to catch up on several months of stuff.