35 came and went

I'm 35 now.

So what?

I don't feel like I'm 35. I don't think I look like I'm 35. Other than the dark circles under my eyes all the time. But, I look at that as a sign of being a mother more than an indicator of age. That's my story anyway. And after all, this is my game so - play along.

My birthday was one of the most uneventful days I've had in a long time. It was nice. But at the same time, I would have liked a little more "ta-da it's your 35th birthday" fanfare.

Oh well. Can't have it all.

Stranger things have been known to happen

The wedding went off without a hitch, for the most part. The weather cooperated to a certain degree - it was cold but no rain. The little girls did an awesome job flowering the "runway" and sat still very well for the ceremony. The food was good at the reception and we were the outlaws when it came to the drinks. We smuggled a 1/2 gallon of Captain Morgan into the reception in a diaper bag. I'm sure that at some point in the night the waitstaff that kept bringing our table free pitchers of diet coke realized that we were way to happy to be drinking only diet coke. Yeah, we got up against the side of that 1/2 gallon and showed it who was boss. I don't think I've drank that much alcohol in a l o n g t i m e.

For some reason, I can only post from my home computer now. DSL at work won't let me in and this is the only time I can actually praise my crappy dial-up internet at home. Oh well, probably shouldn't be doing that at work anyway. But this is inconvenient to me to have to dial-up, wait for everything to load. AGH! I HATE DIAL UP!!!

I get to accompany my aunt to a wedding in Chicago this weekend that sounds like it should be interesting to say the least. I guess the bride's parents have recently hired security for the church and reception location due to recent actions of the mother-in-law. I'm making sure my camera battery is fully charged so I can get some video if the need arises. Who knows, maybe America's Funniest Home Video's would like to see some of it.

T minus 5 days until I'm officially the big 3 5. Big deal. I don't feel like I'm 35 so I'm not going to act like I'm 35 years old. So there!!

Updates

THE WITCH DOCTOR
I have good news about my experience with my "Witch Doctor". The magic potion worked wonders and I believe it pushed me over the edge to recovery. No more doubts about turning to her for help in the future.

THE FAMILY WAR
Is only getting worse. I don't understand why these people feel the need to continually cause emotional damage to others in my family. It's gotten really ugly recently. So much so that my cousin that is getting married this weekend called my mother (her godmother) and told her that she and my dad were not welcome at her wedding - period. That is something you can't take back. It's done. This has caused an absolute divide in my family and the one being hurt the most by it is my 79 year old grandmother.

So - I'm on a mission to live my life honestly. I'm no longer sugar coating anything. My family is fucked up. Plain and simple. I refuse to let other people's anger fuel my life. I'm so done with it.

The funny thing is that karma is weaving a wonderful web on the lives of those stirring the pot. Amanda's wedding is Saturday and up until Sunday the weather was going to be very pleasant. It's now supposed to be in the 30's with a high chance of rain and possibly snow. You get what you deserve.

I do believe in karma more no than ever before. All a result of this bullshit.

My boss suggested a family divorce. I told him to look into it. I think he thought I was joking. I wasn't.

E.S.P. ~ April 7, 1977 to January 10, 2007

Today would be Eric's 30th Birthday.

It's still very hard to deal with his death. There isn't a week that goes by that something doesn't trigger a memory and I end up crying.

And then there's all the bullshit that continues in my family. I've said many times in jest that Eric is the luckiest man since he doesn't have to listen to it anymore. I would rather he had moved away than to have committed suicide. But, it was his choice for dealing with the troubles in his life.

Happy Birthday Girth. We miss you.