They're coming to take me away ha ha he he to the funny farm where life is beautiful all the time

If only my post title were true. Sadly, I think even in a nut house I could top any certifiably whacked out nut job with the events of my life. Just in the past month alone.

So, something GOOD has happened lately. My daughter pulled out her second loose tooth last night just before she went to bed. Bottom front left side. So, now she has a gaping hole on the bottom left and a partially dropped "big" tooth on the top right. As I did when she lost her first tooth, I took a picture of her new smile within minutes of the detoothing. She said it herself - she looks like a jack-o-lantern. A cute one, no less.

My dad and uncle got the hell out of dodge yesterday. They are now safely in excess of 1,000 miles away back to Arizona and away from their psycho sister-in-law Heidi. Lucky lucky men those two.

Another GOOD thing is that now that Dad is back in Arizona and Mom's here in Illinois alone (not really "alone" family is still here - just that Dad is gone) for two more weeks she's pulling out the mo-lah-lah. She called me yesterday and told me I HAD to stop by the local ladies clothing store, that she had put some things back for me and that she was going to buy them. WELL HELLO MAMA! She does this from time to time, says that since I work in a professional office I need to have professional clothes. Yeah, we're real professional here - bossman comes in no less than once a week in ratty jeans and a Harley shirt. A real class act, I know. At least she's realized now that it's better to let me (a) try things on because yes I am the size she tells me I can't possibly be and (b) if she wants me to actually wear the things she buys me it's best if I like them. So, I guess if she approves of the things I picked out at lunch today I'll be soon be sporting a new suede leather shirt jacket and accompanying dress slacks.

A funny thing happened yesterday. I was sitting here clacking away at the keyboard actually doing some work and my hubby called asking me if I had heard anything about the Heidi letter. I had no clue what he was talking about. So he reads me this letter, mailed to us by my Psycho Family Pot Stirrer Aunt Heidi. It was her half-assed attempt to apologize, I think. When I got home from work I had the chance to look at it myself and make my theories. Here's what I came up with: (1) It's a chain letter since it's obvious she got the words she wanted out there and then she decided to send it to everyone by hand writing their name in the "Dear -----" space and putting cc: every fricking member of our family at the bottom, (2) she was very general with her half-assed apology and failed to mention specific instances that she was attempting to apologize for, (3) she made a statement that she has spent her entire life helping other people in our family not once asking for anything in return (HA!), (4) she claimed that her children were wonderful big hearted people who were kind and compassionate (see below), and she blamed everyone's pissy attitude's on Eric's death.

OK, here's the truth of the matter: (1) her daughter is getting married in 3 months and she's scrambling now to make sure the whole family will be in attendance - which isn't going to happen come hell or high water, (2) she's spent her entire life cutting down every single person in our family to make herself and her kids look better, (3) her children have had problems as bad as or worse than everybody else's kids - except for the fact that everyone else has ponied up and accepted responsibility for their actions rather than by trying to place blame on someone else to cover their own ass (meaning - Amanda blaming Skyler for her pot on her kitchen table neartly a month after he had been home visiting rather than fessing up that it belonged to her - you know, she was arrested not that long ago for possession. The way I was tought 1+1=2), and (4) this family has had a fucking attitude toward Heidi since February 26, 1954 - the day she was born - none of this is because of Eric! Her behavior after Eric's death is what just broke the proverbial camels back. As a matter of fact, Eric hadn't spoken to Heidi in over a year because of some smart ass cut down she threw at him and he told her to shove her opinion up her ass and never speak to him again.

Doesn't the drama of my life sound like the biggest load of bullshit known to man? Does to me.

As they say - You can pick your friends but you can't pick your family. Believe me, if I COULD pick my family, there's only a few out of my messed up dysfunctional family that would make the cut.