So over this crap

Here I sit again, typing away as my blood boils over because of my husband.

After nearly 10 years of his crap, I thought I had become somewhat immune to the wise ass remarks and threats of any and all kinds.

I spent last night seriously trying to figure out how things would work if we got divorced. I've never been that far along in this thought process. I mean, I was seriously trying to figure out how we would split up what we have - SERIOUS thought.

So, I came to work this morning fully prepared to draft my own Petition for Dissolution of Marriage. I do them all the time, I know how to lay it out and I know all the facts. Wouldn't take but 5 minutes to do.

I talked to my boss. Told him what was going on, asked if he would help represent me, figuring I could do it myself, since I basically know how, when and what to do and I know the Judges in our court system. Damn it - he talked me out of it.

Dealing with all his bullshit is the main reason my life is such a mess. The man is never wrong, knows everything there is to know, has all the answers to all the questions. He tells me the best way to raise a child but doesn't do a god damn thing to help raise the child. I'm already a single parent, I'm just a married single parent - believe me, it happens more than you know.

Usually I call him at lunch every day and we talk about what's for supper and any breaking news developments. Today I didn't call. He made it abundantly clear to me last night that he wanted out. So, just before his lunch is over today my cell phone rings and it's him. "Too busy to call me today"? he says. I said "I thought you made yourself pretty clear last night that you had no need to talk to me". He wanted to act as if nothing had happened. Sorry buddy, been there - done that, too many times.

I don't know. This is adding more confusion to my already confused life. I love him, things like this have happened before and we usually pick up and move on. I'm just so sick of this shit. He treats me like I'm some idiot that he has total mind control over, like I can't have an opinion of my own and that his factory job is so much better than my job as a paralegal. He is so much like his dad it's disgusting. And, like his dad, he won't realize what he had until he doesn't have it anymore.