I told you I was disfunctional

So, the more I think about meeting up with the ex, the more I want to run and hide under a rock.

I want to see him, I want to talk to him. I don't want to do anything else. Believe me, I'm a pretty strong willed woman (aren't we all?) but this one knows how to crack the code.

Is this whole situation messed up or what? I've always tried to stay friendly (NOT friends with benefits) with my previous boyfriends. I have to, I live in a very small town and chances are we're going to run into each other at some point in time. No matter how pissed off I was, or how bad I wanted to get rid of the jerk, I stay peaceful. Besides, you never know when you might need to call in a favor from the people you despise - I learned that lesson all too well.

So, here I am. Putting a whole lot of thought into something I shouldn't have to. I think what makes this one so hard is that he was "the" guy for me, or so I thought, he obviously didn't think likewise of me. Anyway. It makes me angry to think that at the time we were together he was sort of ambition-less. Now he's living in a half-million dollar home and has all the bling to go along with it.

I don't know. I'm sure I'll still go see him - IN A PUBLIC PLACE - this afternoon. Anybody have any words of wisdom? I could sure use them.