My Life - The made for TV Movie edition

I think I need to hook up with someone who writes made for TV movies. I swear they would tell me that I'm making up the events of my life to sensationalize things. I'm not making this shit up. This kind of crazy is all real.

My family is currently involved in what I can only call an email defamiation of character attack.

I have three aunts that have decided to band together as one, putting my Aunt in Arizona with cancer in the front as their mouthpeice. She's been spouting off about all sorts of things since she was put on meds for her cancer and blames her irrational remarks on that. Now, I don't doubt that there are obvious side effects of the many drugs being pumped into her body in addition to the radiation, but it's not right to start saying things that have been pent up inside for years and blame it on the drugs. I'm pretty sure that chemo doesn't make you remember being whacked in the face with a putt-putt toy when she was 20 and I was 2. I'm sure it isn't helping that it was her only son that recently commited suicide either.

I have 2 cousins getting married this year. One is 23 and getting married next month here in town. The other is 28 and getting married in Chicago at the end of June. 23 year old cousin's parents (my aunt) are footing the bill for everything. (To the point where she wants to reimburse me for the $9 shoes I bought for my daughter, neice and cousin - the flower girls.) 28 year old cousin is footing her own bill, lock stock and barrel.

Jenn, the Chicago cousin, lives in the 'burbs and has for many years. She lives in a $200k+ house that she and her fiance purchased. She drives a brand new company car and has a very nice, high paying job. She's a big city girl to the core.

Amanda, the local cousin, lives here and always has. She lives in a $80k house that her parents bought for her (it's an "investment" if you ask them but nobody's paying any rent so I don't know how that can be a very successful investment). She drives an older car that's in ok shape. She's a hairdresser at a busy local salon. She's a small town girl.

You can't compare the two. No way, no how.

But somehow, Heidi (I know, I know - it's her again!) is doing just that.

God forbid if Jenn should happen to have anything nicer than Amanda.

I've kept my mouth shut, even though in a previous post I said I wouldn't. Jenn and I talked on the phone for nearly 2 hours the other night and were feeling better about the whole thing until the emails started coming again. This is a fucking joke.

There is no "we" in my family. It's turned in to keeping score of who helped who with what and how much it cost them, who's got the biggest, the best, the only whatever. This isn't the way families are supposed to be. Families are supposed to be there for each other and give what they can give when they can give it. Be it emotional or financial. We aren't all in positions in our lives where we can help out with money, but we can sure lend emotional support, drive someone around, pick up their kids, etc. Every little bit helps.

I know a lot of this is all pent up emotions. Since Eric's death and the events surrounding that we've all been kind of on edge. I do think that every one of us would benefit from some sort of grief recovery group, or suicide survivor's group, something of that nature. It's hard to go through each day knowing that he didn't feel that he had anyone to talk to about his troubles, to the point that he took a gun, put it to his head and pulled the trigger.

Not that I understand why he did that, because I don't and never will, but look at what's going on in my family. His actions almost make sense.